my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
studying is a huge bore, and i have to endure another week of it. goodness gracious me. didn't study AT ALL last night after tuition. was too distracted, worried, upset, stressed and tired. after all, i did spend the whole day studying the origins of the cold war. gah now i'm doing the stupid industrial revolution. having some progress with France, but when i look at the exam questions, somehow i don't see how what i've studied fits in :( it's gonna be home alone for the whole day again. and its the second time in a row i've had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and oreos dunked in peanut butter and milk for lunch. i feel really pathetic. but i guess i should be thankful there's food for me to eat, when there are millions starving. actually i can jes walk about five minutes to the nearest hawker centre to buy food but i'm jes too lazy so it's all my fault in the end eh. darling timmy's gonna be my companion for the whole of today. brought him down for a walk jes now. sigh supposed to have gone studying with hwei today but i wasn't feeling too well last night. started having an itchy throat and a runny nose out of the blue, like what, one am? how queer. then i couldn't sleep so had to take some medication before i fell asleep. gah then obviously i felt like crap when i woke up so cancelled our study date. *sorry hwei!* hmm okay there's only fifteen minutes more left of my mini break. tata.
written with ♥ at
12:10 AM;